This year really owning my voice is a personal triumph. As I have discussed before my parents are ardent anti gay right wing christians. All my life they told me they loved me and that is why they were working so hard to try and understand and save me. They prayed for me. When I released myself from accepting their shame I blossomed. I had been working towards it all my life but this year I know it to be true. I think we as a community have cast off a lot of shame that we have had placed on us by years of conservative oppression and our own apathy. We feel our voices rising again.
I am not really speaking to the general we I am talking about the so called "rebels". The political organizations that I am often fortunate to work with or meet at protests are not doing enough. When I hear people say "we have been working on being a part of society for a hundred or so years and we must have patience", I want to pull my hair out! How can a lesbian woman talk about only 100 years when we have been around for EVER and we have only truly been oppressed as a cross cultural plague in the last 100 years! Has she never heard of Sappho? It is mind boggling to see how gay culture has been so oppressed that even our leaders are fooled by the lies and plead for understanding and patience as people get used to us. Really? Lets be patient while bigotry is voted on state by state and we are held helpless by the courts to "Find a way to get our rights". Is that really what we are being asked? You have got to be shi**ing me. Pardon my french. Besides lets make it real and admit its bigotry not marriage that is the issue. Bigotry is wrong not law! Lets get real!
It is this voice that I am hearing now. This voice that like mine can't quite figure out what the heck is up with this government. A governor who can't find funding for ADAP and hasn't paid a bunch of his own taxes ? It is the voice of the people who are starting to see what oppression by the governing states can be like when they hold our health care ransom so that they can continue to line their pockets on our money. The Health Care issue is the most infuriating issue ever. We the people know that rights should include healthcare and gays and poor people and marijuana users and well everybody. We know this to be the truth. Yet because of special interest and hollow promises by our leaders, we end up with something that is not even for the people any more. It is now to satisfy the "most people"; those most people are actually large corporations run by some of the most selfish self invested people on the face of the planet. War Poverty and Bigotry so that the rich are happy? They want us to be afraid of socialist ideas that may just save our country because they would loose billions. We already use socialist ideas like PUBLIC SCHOOLS! Not that that is a shinning example because for some reason we can't find money for them either. Our collective lives are being flushed down the toilet because of their greed. We also know this isn't right. Now we also know that this is something we can do something about.
I was reading that at the Climate talks in Copenhagen that the US and China hope to reduce emissions like 20% by 2050. Wow. I mean come on. What exactly are we supposed to say to that? "Sorry our country is to selfish to stand up and be counted but we may do something by 2050." No wonder other countries hate us. I think at this rate if we all live to 2050 it would be a miracle.
Or how about a president who was supposed to bring about change. The world believed him so much they gave him an award in his first year that many people who are proven great leaders never get. Yep a hero. A hero who steps up war and says it is just. I don't want to wage war. I don't want a war on drugs. I don't want a war on terror. War is TERROR. I want a government for the people and to stop all the lying and manipulating just to continue in the way we are going. What is so great with the way we are going? The direction must change and very soon. 2050, the thought is frightening! By then we could walk to Australia on all the plastic in the ocean. I think that we realize that this is wrong and our wasteful life style is killing us, giving us cancer, destroying the wildlife and so forth. I think we know that. So why are we fighting a war to gain control of oil and opium in Afghanistan? (Well I get the opium but the oil I'm at a complete loss). Shouldn't we be becoming independent and finding ways to use solar and wind more efficiently? Oh yeah right we are protecting big business interests. How silly of me.
The difference this year is we are starting to ask for accountability. We are seeing the direct correlation of our obsession with the Kardashian's and the fact that our government has been getting away with murder for too long. We are not wearing blinders any longer. Its out there and we are talking about it. Personally I can't believe that the voices of the people who are not tea baggers; nice name dip shits; are not taking over the streets. I remember the day before the war broke out and the city exploded. It just exploded. That day I saw how many people were angry about how things were going. I know that voice is out there and I think this past year we have started to hear it louder and louder. We must use this voice because that is how change is created. There needs to be support for this genesis. The year that we have lived has been; well less that stellar. There have been disappointments in droves; but the good news is we see it and we don't feel helpless any more. I am hopeful for the year ahead. I am plugging into my Ravonettes CD, casting off shame, and moving into 2010 determined as hell! Last year I had Charlie Horse stolen from me so this year its out of the bar into.......